Oscar Night!

Well, ladies and germs, the big night is finally here. This is the first year that I’ve really paidd attention to the Oscar race, so I’m gonna post up the results and my thoughts as they happen. And it’s already begun, so without further ado…

Achievement in Costume Design:
Elizabeth the Golden Age. Hmm. Interesting. I would have thought no, considering the original Elizabeth was probably very similar. I didn’t see all the nominees, though, so I can’t speak to it as much as I would like to. I would have said either Atonement or Sweeney Todd. Next one!

Haha, good job George Clooney. One thing that is always constant: it’s long. No, it’s unpredictable. Well, that’s partly true. And now we’re treated to “Academies Past” or whatever. Enjoyable, I guess. Actually, I take that back. It’s pretty fun. So sue me. I’m a sucker for montages.

Jon Stewart – you go dude. His irreverance is awesome. He’s doing pretty well with a script that was written barely a few weeks ago.

Best Animated Feature
Come on, Ratatouille!! Hahahahaha. Steve Carell is awesome. Woooo!!!!!!! Ratatouille won!! Yessss!! Haha, Brad Bird is kind of a cool guy. I’m glad it won. It really deserved it. Persepolis was fairly deserving, too, but Ratatouille was absolutely stellar. Nothing will ever come around like Ratatouille for a long time.

Achievement in Makeup
La Vie en Rose. To be expected. Norbit was a terrible film and there had already been two previous Pirates films.

Amy Adams really is charming. As much as I’m resentful of the Academy choosing three songs to be nominated and practically ignoring “Once,” this really was a fun movie, mostly due to her. A nice little diversion.

Achievement in Visual Effects
Transformers will probably win. It better. Gah!! Golden Compass. No. No. Transformers was superior. Far superior. There wasn’t a scene in Transformers that wasn’t eye-popping. The Golden Compass was kind of bland throughout. Bah. Thus begins a long line of frustrations.

Achievement in Art Direction
Hmmm….can’t choose. Sweeney Todd. Nice. Very deserving. The art direction was incredible. It was a good category overall, so I’m happy with this one. Now move on.

Best Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck should win, hands down. Javier Bardem will win, though. And he did. Big surprise. He was incredibly good. Redefined the psychopathic killer to an entirely different dimension. I guess you gotta honor that.

Haha you go Jon Stewart. This is some excellent hosting so far. Oscar’s salute to binoculars and periscopes? Haha that’s pretty classic. Random, but classic. “Thank God we didn’t have to show that.” Bad dreams. Lol. Amazing.

Best Live Action Short Film
I don’t know why I’m even commenting on this. I don’t know anything about it. Lol. Just killing time. Loop dee doop. Blooh blah blooh. Oh, there’s some dude up there who I don’t even know who it is. Oh, he’s French. Awesome.

Oh, dear. Leave, Jerry Seinfeld. Your Bee Movie did not live up to expectations at all. It was a C movie. Gah. Did they have to put him up there? I mean, really? Why honor mediocre movies with little blurbs like that? Bring Chris Rock’s character up there. It was infinitely more entertaining.

Best Animated Short Film
Whoa, these look interesting. And a lot of them are stop-motion. Peter and the Wolfe. Well done, Peter. Now, please leave, Mr. Bee. NOW.

Best Supporting Actress
Hmmm…..I have to confess to not having seen many of these. I’ve heard both good and bad things about Cate Blanchett. Ruby Dee was good, but it was a glorified cameo. The only reason she’ll be honored is because she’s old. Saoirse Ronan was pretty interesting, but she was kind of annoying to me. I hope she doesn’t win. Young actresses usually don’t win. Amy Ryan!! You go, girl. I hope she wins. I really do. She was the second best part of that movie, aside from Casey Affleck. She took a one dimensional role and made it astounding. Tilda Swinton was severe and riveting, but I don’t know if she deserves to win – her role seems a little typical. Oooooooh!!! Tilda Swinton!!! Wow. Nice one. Very deserving. It’s about time she won something. I would have preferred Amy Ryan, but Tilda Swinton really did deserve it. Good choice, voters. Maybe not the best, but still good.

Oh, yay. Jessica Alba. Wooot. Kill me now. Gah, that woman is brainless. Why does she still have a career? She’s gorgeous, but who in the world cares? Give me quality in filmmaking over looks any day of the week.

Best Adapted Screenplay
I heard Atonement was well done. All these are excellent. No Country will probably win. Yup. They did do a good job. If you count adapted screenplay as keeping it kind of faithful to the book. There Will Be Blood was good, but it probably didn’t have much to do with “Oil!” What an awkward acceptance speech. Lol.

What’s with all the videos? I don’t remember there being this many in recent years. I guess this is kind of interesting, to see how the Academy votes. Still doesn’t explain why they suck so often at it. NONE of the Best Foreign Language films were the best ones to come out in 2007. I guess this is the Oscar’s excuse video for this year on why so many of their categories were seriously lacking in what was actually good in 2007. Anything about Zodiac in that video? Nope. Didn’t think so. Idiots.

Oooooh, I liked this song. I’m excited for it. “That’s How You Know.” Yay. πŸ™‚ Here we go. What???? Get off the stage!! I want Amy Adams. Gah. Only she can make this overly cheesy song acceptable. Come on. Gah. I was actually excited to watch this song. If they don’t let the people from “Once” perform their song, I am going to be royally pissed.

Achievement in Sound Editing
Hahahah Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. Awesome. Classic. Ratatouille should win, just because I love it. But all these nominees were fantastic. Transformers should win, but it probably won’t. Bourne Ultimatum. Hm. I guess it deserved to win. It was an excellent film that deserved more recognition. Clap clap. Poor Transformers, though. Shafted in two categories. Jeez.

Best Sound Mixing
I can never tell the difference between these two categories. Is that bad? They’re usually the same winners, too. Ultimatum again? NO, please give me Transformers. Please. Please. Just one win, come on. It was a triumph of pure escapism, even if the script sucked. Sigh. Ultimatum. Again. Big surprise. Okay, time to move on.

Best Actress
Once again, I have to confess to not having seen many of these performances. Oooh, Forest Whitaker. He’s an excellent actor. He has a way of making any role, no matter how minor, into a completely three dimensional and likeable (or hateable) character. Not Cate Blanchett. Please. Please. Please. No. I didn’t see it, but wasn’t she nominated for the original? And isn’t it a sequel? Yeah, she can’t win. I’ll be pissed if she does. Didn’t see “Away From Her.” Didn’t see “La Vie En Rose.”Looks good, heard good things about it. Good makeup. Looks like it deserved. Gah. Didn’t see the Savages either. I heard she’s the best, though. I’ll root for her. Ellen Page was excellent, but it’s not her year. There are so many better performances. Marion Cotillard, nice. I approve.

Wii Tennis!!! Best part of the night so far. Excellent. Genius.

Oooooh! Once! Yessss! Awesome!!!!!! Yes! It’s them! This song almost makes me cry. All the glitz and glamour surrounding them takes away from the impact a little, but it’s still spectacular. I swear, if Enchanted wins over this….well, it probably will. But I will kill every single Academy member who voted for Enchanted. No, seriously. Just kidding. Or am I?

Hi, Jack. Whatever you do in your movies, you’re an entertaining kind of guy. Unique. Damn, he is such a movie star. Such class, too. People like him don’t come around every day. Ooh, the Dragonheart soundtrack. I love that soundtrack. Oooh, best picture nominees! Nice. I love this soundtrack so much. Ooooh! Nostalgia! Return of the King winning. That was a landmark moment. Unfortunately, five years later and there’s no sign of fantasy or science fiction in best picture. Well, once was fun.

Achievement in Film Editing
Difficult category. All of them are excellent. The Bourne Ultimatum, good. That really was fantastic editing. All those quick cuts, so seamlessly done, were exceptional

Back to Jon Stewart. He’s wonderful! Damn, such a good host.

Honorary Nominee
Nice. I don’t know anything about this dude (man, I have some catching up to do after I graduate (graduation – gah!)), but nice.

And now some thoughts – it’s been a decent night so far. The only big problem I have with what happened was Golden Compass taking home best special effects. Transformers was easily the superior one. Come on. Seriously. Come on. Back off, cheeky Lyra. Go complain to someone who cares. Gah. Anyways, on with the show.

Best Foreign Language
This category is a joke this year. I didn’t see any of them. I saw the good ones. Persepolis. Diving Bell and the Butterfly. I still need to see 4 months 3 Weeks 2 Days. Gah, I don’t even care that Austria won. Terrible category. The worst of the night, but we knew it was coming, so it wasn’t so bad, I guess. Still pretty sad, though.

Best Original Song
Gah, it’s going to be Enchanted, and I’m going to be pissed. Crossing fingers…YEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a wonderful surprise!!! Hahahaha!! That is excellent! Take THAT, Alan Menken. Yess!! What? Start playing before she gets to thank people? That is sad. Pot shot, Jon Stewart, not okay. Anyways….sigh. That makes me happy. The best surprise so far. Excellent. Wonderful. The best decision of the night. I’m rejuvenated for now. πŸ™‚ But it is really terrible that they cut her off like that. That’s just not okay. It’s her moment, and they took it away. Lame, Oscar. Lame.

Gooood! Very classy, Jon Stewart. He brought back the woman from “Once” so she could thank people properly. Very nice. Excellent. Oh, that makes me so much more happy. This would have been a big stain on the evening if it went uncorrected. Yay. πŸ™‚ Okay, NOW I’m happy. Good job, Stewart. I really respect him for that.

Achievement in Cinematography
Diving Bell and Butterfly should probably win. I really want There Will Be Blood to win, though. That was simply astounding. Oooooh! Good choice. There Will Be Blood. Nice. Very cool. I was blown away by that film. It was wonderful. I like that he’s thanking PT Anderson.

Ah, the memorials. This part is always kind of cool and sad. I wonder if Heath Ledger will be on here. Was he in January? Ingmar Bergman, wow. Heath Ledger, there you are. Sigh. Brad Renfro wasn’t on there. He was excellent in The Client. That’s kind of not okay. I mean, I know he wasn’t a massive star, but if you’re going to show random people like agents and stunt men, then you need to put him.

Best Original Score
Atonement. Ooooh, that was fantastic. Kite Runner, no. Michael Clayton, no. Ratatouille, yes. 3:10 to Yuma, no. Atonement won. Good choice. The score of that film was such an integral part of the story, you couldn’t have done without it. The way it integrated the typewriter into score was genius and maximized emotions and character development. Excellent. For my part, though, I loved Ratatouille, so I’m partial to that. And it was more subtle, so maybe it should have won. Atonement was deserving, though.

Best Documentary Short Subject
Tom Hanks is a great guy. He’s just so naturally personable. I don’t know anything about this category, so I’m just going to pretend I do and talk about stuff. Not. It’s cool they’re honoring people over in Iraq. Nice gesture. Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Ross. Cool, I guess.

Best Documentary Feature
I nominate King of Kong and give it the Oscar. I also nominate God Grew Tired of Us. It’s a shame the Academy thinks that nominees have either be super serious or made my Michael Moore. Boooo. King of Kong was the single best documentary this year, hands down. No contest, even. No End in Sight was exceptional, but come on. And I can’t speak to the others. I heard Taxi to the Dark Side was good. Ah, it won. Lovely. I’m just glad the manipulative Moore didn’t win. He disgusts me with his blind manipulation of facts, using people to get what he wants, and blatant disregard for anything relating to what makes a good documentary. Next!

Best Original Screenplay
Wow, Harrison Ford’s old. Juno’s good, but there’s better. I didn’t see Lars. Michael Clayton was good, but not Oscar worthy. Ratatouille was excellent. I didn’t see Savages. Oh. Juno. Hmmm. Well, it was good….but kind of a flub. From what I’ve heard of Savages, it might have deserved it better. But Juno was too contrived and a little too unrealistic to deserve a nomination. Ellen Page made the script, not the other way around.

Best Actor
Oooooh…..here we go. George Clooney. Good. Daniel Day-Lewis. Fantastic. He deserves it. Take it, Daniel. Please. Johnny Depp. The Dark horse. He’s been nominated thrice now, will he win….? Here’s hoping no. There are more deserving this year. Not Tommy Lee. I didn’t see it. But both Clooney and Day-Lewis deserve it more. Viggo Mortensen. First nomination. More deserving behind him. He won’t win. But it was an excellent role. Okay, here we go…YES!!! Good job. Go Daniel Day-Lewis. You really deserved it. Excellent. Wonderful. Such a mind-blowing performance. I’m happy with this one. Sorry, Clooney. It’s not your year, but you get a very very close second.

Best Director
Haha, nice flashback. Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. Excellent. Okay, here we go. PT Anderson deserves it. The Coens a close second, but There Will Be Blood is such a monumentally better movie than the already spectacular movies Anderson was making. Who else is there? Oh yeah, that’s right. Nobody. Well, technically, yes, but theres’ no chance. Julian Schnabel, yeah, fantastic. Jason Reitman, competent, but not a winner. Tony Gilroy? Nah. Sigh. The Coens. Of course. Sorry, PT Anderson. Twenty years down the road, though, we’ll be laughing at how the Academy misfired. Anyways, which means No Country practically has a lock on best picture. But I’m still crossing my fingers. There Will Be Blood should win. It needs to. Please…..

Best Motion Picture
Not Atonement. Not Juno. Not Michael Clayton. No No country. Please Blood. Please…..upset upset upset….sigh. No Country. Oh well. Exactly what was expected. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, shoulda kept my hopes down. But nope. Fifty years down the road people will be wondering what the Academy was thinking, but that’s okay. No Country was deserving.

And that’s the night. A mere three hours and fifteen minutes. Short. Ah well. I was really hoping for There Will Be Blood, but I guess not.

Well, I have homework now. It was a decent night, so I’m kinda happy. Not too many mistakes, and at least they didn’t do something stupid like make Juno or Michael Clayton win. No Country is the second best I could hope for.

Until next time….

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