Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem (7/10)

 

By the time alien babies are poking their squirmy little heads out of pregnant women’s stomachs, you know that this film has gone about as low as it can go, which is actually a good thing. The first Alien Vs. Predator was not very satisfactory; too many humans, two few aliens. It seemed a no-brainer; you have a movie about aliens and predators, you make a movie about aliens and predators. An R-rated one, with plenty of alien/predator action and little care to the humans in the story. Also, don’t make it take place beneath a mile of ice. Despite the critical and relative box-office flop of the first one, the aliens, predators, and now the new and improved “predalien” are back, this time on a larger scale, with plenty more gore, a complete disregard for taste, and kick-ass action. So as long as you’re ready to patiently shut down your brain and endure an hour and half of inane dialogue, idiotic and cliched characters, and a story that’s so shaky it could fall down at any minute, then it’s actually pretty entertaining.

The movie begins with the very end of the first one. As any fan knows, when an alien infests a body, it takes on the characteristics of that host, so we see the chest-popper burst out with the weird four claws surrounding its mouth like the classic predator. It wreaks havoc on the predator ship, which consequently goes hurtling down to Earth and lands in a conveniently out-of-the-way small-simple-folk town, where chaos soon ensues. Every predator on the ship is dead, and since now the aliens can multiply approximately ten times faster than in the last film (don’t bother trying to think it through; they just can), soon the town’s in chaos and only one lone ranger can save the day. Excuse me, predator.

The characters in this film are idiotic, stupid, inane, not to mention idiotic, and they’re all cliched. There’s the ex-con who’s coming back to town; the bully who won’t let any boy hit on his girlfriend; the super duper hot 25-year old high school girl who just now starts to realize her boyfriend’s a jerk and starts to like the sweet pizza delivery protagonist boy just as aliens are attacking her town. Boy, talk about bad timing. A black army woman is coming back from duty to her family (whom you can bet will all be killed).

But who cares? The good news is, this time around, the action is, in a word, awesome. The special effects are actually pretty good for its budget, and there is plenty of blood and guts action to go around. The predator’s not some pansy who befriends a black woman at the first sign of trouble, he’s a bad-ass motherf***er who does what he wants. However, it is pretty disappointing that there’s only one predator. I mean, if a place you knew was being attacked by aliens, would you just send one? I thought not. The action and gore is no-holds barred. The Strause brothers directed this film, and they knew what to fix this time around – not making any of the mistakes of the first film. The action is quick, short, sweet, and bloody. The characters and story suck. Who really cares?

AVPR isn’t going to win any Oscars. It’s a terrible film. In almost every way imaginable. It’s tasteless, disgusting, offensive, and just plain idiotic. But there’s one thing it gets right, and that’s the alien and predator fights. The final showdown between the predator and the predalien is one of epic proportions, it’s visually impressive, and it closes off the film with a nice bang. If you didn’t really like the first AVP because of its lack of alien and predators, give this one a chance. You might actually like it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: